Catholic Community: ‘Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?’

Dan Schutte, flattened by the flu, sat in his Berkeley room. A friend entered with a request: “Can you write a song for my ordination in two days?” Dan desired only to retreat. Instead, he strung together words, plucked a few guitar chords, and prayed for strength. The refrain from Isaiah 6 percolated Dan’s imagination: “Here I am. Send me.” (Is. 6:8). Two days later, Dan, doubting his gift had merit, strummed his song for Jesuit friends. They suggested changing the declaration to a question: “Here I am Lord. Is it I, Lord?” Born while ill and racked with self-doubt, Dan Schutte, then a Jesuit priest, created the beloved hymn “Here I Am Lord.”

The scripture readings for February 9 offer three stories of God’s call and three conflicted responses. In Isaiah 6, the prophet moves from despair, “Woe is me; I am doomed!” to exuberant: “Here I am, send me.” In between these two responses, God razes Isaiah’s hopelessness with a live ember. Freed from fear, Isaiah, lived his call.

In the Gospel (Luke 5:1-11), Peter protests that he is an experienced fisherman; no need to “put into the deep water and lower his nets for a catch.” Yet, he obeys the Master. Shocked at the overflowing catch, Peter realizes he is with the Lord. His tune changes from haughty to humble. Tenderly, Jesus responds, “Do not be afraid.” Infused with confidence, Peter and his fishing buddies James and John leave everything and follow Jesus.

Industrious Paul (Corinthians 15:1-11) confesses persecuting “the church of God.” Eyes clear and God’s grace flowing within, Paul now sees his mission is to join with the ones he despised. Peter, Paul, and Isaiah all prayed today’s psalm 138: “You built up strength within me.”

Consider times in your own life when the Divine Ask seemed too big. For me, I recall three distinct Divine calls to build, to heal, to be present. With each I protested. “I know nothing.” “I need another degree.” “I’m too old.” (To the latter, a Jesuit pshawed: That is not God’s voice!) Beyond my laments echoed a heartfelt refrain. Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?  

Today listen for God’s call. Expect tumult. Breathe, ‘the grace of God is with me.” Then get in the boat with Jesus. Guitar optional.

Could you be called to volunteer at St. Francis of Assisi Gift Shop? Contact Rosie Olivas at 408-223-1562.